


Devil May Care

by spnsmile



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, Bedroom Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Demon Dean Winchester, Demon Sex, Dubcon Kissing, Explicit Sexual Content, Love, Lust, M/M, Oral Sex, Painful Sex, Painplay, Rough Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Shower Sex, Top Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:41:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27690863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spnsmile/pseuds/spnsmile
Summary: Castiel pursuing Demon Dean lead ultimately in one shared room where the angel had to face the reality that saving Dean always come with a price.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 118





	Devil May Care

**Author's Note:**

> written for SPNReverse bang with the beautfiul[ missjenniferb](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/missjenniferb/627650551690182656) <3 It's a wonderful collaboration with DemonDean under our favorite commander! Check out her [art](https://jenniferb-art.tumblr.com/post/635602586341457920/devil-may-care-spnsmile-supernatural-archive)  
> it's gorgeous!

“Any drinks?” asked the bartender above the clatter of bottles and glasses while Castiel swung his leg over a stool by the counter with active eyes in his surroundings. The crowded local bar stood up to its reputation, dim light flickering above heads, people brushing shoulders and the pungent scent of beer. He had to tug the hem of his coat to get out of people’s heels.

“Uh no,” he said, glancing around, “I am here for someone.”

“Better do the modern stuff, get your phone out. It’s a full house, I can’t even see my own shadow.”

Castiel tilted his head to check out the man’s shadow but it was there. “Unfortunately, he has crushed his mobile. This is more like—”

“Stalking?”

“Yes.”

The bartender gave him a calculating look while he wiped another glass. “Are you a cop?”

Castiel quickly flashed a badge on his face. “Yes.”

“I figured. The coat was a dead give away. I hope it’s not linked to murders in the last town? It was brutal.”

Castiel stared at him in deadpan but inside, he was anxious. Dean left trails of blood in its wake. Masking its malice behind nasty grins and enthusiasm for decadence, but it could not suppress down the blood lust of the Mark. The Demon. It never looked back. Castiel feared the damage to Dean once this was over would be fatal. He didn’t want that toll added to Dean’s already low self-esteem and self-loath. It was his motivation to follow every lead. Sam never stopped too. Mass murder from town to town, club to club. Prostitutes dead that left Castiel staring at the corpses feeling like his insides burn. He remembered the last time he spoke to Dean… _the real Dean… a brief moment shared_ _with fingers entangled, not wishing to part but duty-bound and Cas promising that he’d save him._

“Um…” Castiel fought down the urge to look down the front of his coat, “So um… has anyone attractive, someone, that stood out among other people, noticeably with striking green eyes, been here?”

“I know plenty, many green eyes.” He shrugged.

“No, but he’s very handsome.”

“You have to be more specific.”

“He goes by the name Dean Winchester.”

“Nope, never heard the name.”

Castiel swallowed his impatience. This was the last lead he got from his trusted source, the last bit of information before he loses the thread leading to his friend. It’s been three months since Dean escaped the Bunker before they could even perform the ritual to turn him human again, the same night Sam was nearly killed by his own brother if he hadn’t intervened in time. But just like Dean to slip his fingers.

He should’ve gripped him tightly as he did in hell, but with his dwindling grace, it was an impossible feat. Sam was losing hope and Castiel had to admit he was too. But every time he thought of giving up, the memory of Dean, selfless, loving Dean with his devil-may-care attitude, always saving the world would give him the strength to _want_ to save him. Who else would? After everything Dean had sacrificed for the world? That’s how this crusade began. It was always the mission. _Saving Dean._ He promised Sam he’d find him again. Now he was back to square one.

He stayed there in silence, hoping Dean would appear. He had no choice but to order a drink or two and look around for any sign of the demon spotted in the local area. His informant told him Dean had just arrived here so the possibility of this bar as his next target was a given.

Unless Dean had gotten a whiff that he was here and purposely slipped away again. Castiel clutched the glasses between his hands. Now what?

“You look like someone who could use the company.”

Castiel glanced at the stool beside him suddenly occupied by another man in a denim jacket. He stared him in the eyes and saw no underlying malice behind the brown orbs. But he did look tipsy.

“I’m waiting for someone,” Dean told him long ago it was the best answer if he didn’t want to be bothered and it had worked wonders. Thinking of it only made his longing worse. He wanted to see Dean, hear his stupid jokes that Sam rolled his eyes at, or even his friend dragging him from one local bar to the other. Castiel blinked and clutched his heart like something is squeezing it. He just had to admit for the hundredth time how he missed Dean.

“If someone’s making you wait that long, then he’s not worth the wait, right?” The man watched him with a lopsided smile and shrugged. Castiel’s suspicion didn’t abate.

“His free will is questionable for now... It’s complicated.”

“Isn’t everything?” the man leaned closer, their shoulders brushing, “but you’re looking really down there, buddy. I am guessing it’s someone terrible and very important.”

“He’s not terrible, he’s just a demon.”

The man blinked. Castiel chuckled after a thorough examination of what he just said because it was such an irony. That Dean was a demon, it was still too cruel to believe. “It’s not his fault…”

The man nodded with a grimace. “Abusive relationship?”

Castiel thought of how Sam was beaten badly, how he too was beaten by Dean. He slowly nodded.

“He can’t help it.”

“You don’t say you still defend assholes like that.”

“He is not an asshole. Dean is the best man in the world.”

“Oh, man…” the guys suddenly had this awful expression, leaned closer then slid a hand over Castiel’s back to pat him in sympathy. Castiel frowned. “You gotta wake up, that’s not a kind of relationship anybody tolerate these days.”

“I’m here to save him.” He insisted.

“Wow…and you still think he’s not bad after calling him a demon?” the surprised brown eyes had Castiel squinting but before he could say anything else, someone jerked the hand away from his back. Castiel turned and there was the man he was looking for, clad in his favorite red shirt, green eyes glinting in secret spite, twisting the gasping man’s arm up the air.

[ ](https://jenniferb-art.tumblr.com/post/635602586341457920/devil-may-care-spnsmile-supernatural-archive)

“What the fuck, man—!”

“ _Dean_.” Castiel said sharply. 

“I just turned bad, you’re already hooking up with someone else?” Dean flashed white teeth in a manic grin. “and who’s this?” he yanked the man up the air. Castiel grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Let him go, he’s just a human.”

“What difference does it make?” between them, the man cursed and tried to pull his bent arm but Dean was too powerful. Heads turned this way, the bartender could careless as he kept wiping his precious glasses. Others simply ignored them, trying to be oblivious to the helpless yelps.

“ _Dean,”_ Castiel said through gritted teeth. He didn’t know what made the demon suddenly appear when he did everything to escape Castiel’s detection, but the killing intent coming from the demon behind his evil smile was making the angel nervous for everyone around.

Dean gave the man one dark look before releasing him. The man stumbled a little, clutched his arm and glared. “What the fuck is your problem—!"

Castiel held his shoulder.

“Leave, trust me.” He received a glare in turn.

“You better leave this jerk, man. He’s bad news.”

Castiel watched the man scramble away after giving Dean one ferocious look. Dean’s flashy smile didn’t disappear and soon the bar went back to its usual clamor, leaving the angel and the demon staring intently at each other. Castiel could confirm what was true in the situation. Dean was bad news.

“You’re here.” Castiel began.

The demon shrugged. “I am everywhere, and so are you. Never really planning to give up the chase, are you?”

“You know I won’t give up on you.”

“Well, weeks of evading you, I started to get the message. But what, did you come here looking for a fight with your half-assed spit of a grace you have, angel?”

“You’re going back with me.” Castiel tilted his chin.

“Oh, am I?” Dean leered, “You know this place has got about a dozen other demons just waiting to jump you?”

He straightened, looking warily around. He knew he could be walking into a trap when he first heard of a remote bar in the area, but it was one of the risks he was willing to take. Wriggling his wrist, preparing to take out his angel blade and glared at Dean.

“I’ve had worse in hell saving your ass.”

Dean grinned, green eyes dancing in delight. “Or… we could drink and talk?”

Castiel inhaled. Dean’s eyes are on him, fixated and waiting but he’s learned never to trust demons, never. Puffing his chest out in the process. He locked eyes with the demon and tried to see the same man he loved behind the green eyes. It was like staring at Dean’s soul with thick glass between them. A knot formed in his chest for Dean was too near, yet too far…

“That’s a trick.”

“You could’ve said yes.”

“I’m done bargaining. Surrender yourself or I will drag you back home.” His voice almost cracked but he held his emotions in. He could hear a voice screaming at the back of his head calling for Dean, wanting to reach out like he used to— _come back home._

Dean’s eyes flickered black. Humans backed away immediately with terror and confusion painting their faces. Around him, Castiel saw demons gather in a circle. Dean inclined his head on one side and shrugged his shoulder, stepped back the line and melted into the crowd.

“You asked for this,”

The moment he turned his back, Castiel slipped the angel blade in a flash and struck the nearest demon around the throat. Terrified screams filled the bar. Stampede next, but Castiel was too busy to catch Dean. He swung to the blade sharply and connected with a forehead and screech, experience in battle getting an advantage, but lack of grace he half used to protect his vessel got on his way. Tables broke, bodies piled on the floor and his vessel got struck in the face one or twice, he even tasted blood. But retaliation and determination flooded his instincts and he was fighting to survive. He couldn’t die there, will not die there. How could he save Dean if he perished here?

So, he found and exorcised demons like when he was in hell, it ended with flashing light of his grace bursting and smiting every demon on sight, leaving him exhausted. He stumbled raggedly out of the bar. There was no one at the gloomy parking lot that was filled with people an hour ago.

Leaning on the railing of the short wooden steps, Castiel grunted all the way down the path while holding his injured side. He needed to get to his car, recuperate first and then… but if any demons come after him now…

There’s a blinding flash behind him. Castiel jumped and turned to see a demon upon him with face screwed into a painful scream before falling down the floor, dead.

Behind it was Dean holding an angel blade. Castiel stepped back with gritted teeth. If Dean decide to kill him now, there’s no stopping him. Except Castiel looked down the dead demon between them.

“You survive.” Breathed Dean with newly found interest that got Castiel to be wary.

“What do you want?” he asked drily.

Dean flipped the angel blade in his hand. “Not even a thank you?”

“You sent me to battle a dozen demon, excuse me for being bitter.”

“Well, to be fair, it isn’t the first time. Don’t take it personally, it’s just… I just got curious why…” there’s a pause.

“Why what?” Castiel pressed. Dean stepped closer, invading his space. The odor of sulfur filled Castiel’s nose but he didn’t step back. The demon, spiteful as it looks, was still Dean and he longed to be near him. If only he had his grace to capture him again but for now…

Dean stared him dead in the eyes then lifted a hand to touch his cheek. Castiel stiffened at the palm on his left cheek. It wasn’t like the demon to act so considerate or gentle, and in hindsight he knew it was a trick and yet found himself leaning on the touch instead.

Dean cradled his face with his other bloody hand, angel blade nowhere in sight which should’ve alarmed him, but the familiar green eyes reflecting him, the same eyes that stared back at him every time he sought for shelter. _Dean._

Even then he was very careful of watching Dean’s eyes in case it turned into chaotic black until— Dean was suddenly all over him, pressing close and knocking his nose sharply.

Dean pulled him into a kiss, deep and rough that surely left bruises but Castiel is too taken a back to respond and when he did and it was getting nasty with his lips getting bitten, he shoved the demon to collect his wits about but when he looked up, Dean was already gone.

Castiel could hear his heart still pounding in his ears, heart racing like he ran a marathon with lips still burning from the kiss. It didn’t make any sense, not even when he was driving away from the bar not knowing where to start. Dean kissing him… was that another trick? Was it a deal? But there was nothing… so was it intentional or the demon playing with his feelings? Because Castiel knew the moment he kissed Dean back that time, the demon probably got what it wanted. His weakness.

That was a week ago. It didn’t take him long to return in pursuing Dean. He had to make himself believe it was a mistake. He also had to tell Sam about the kiss.

 _“It’s not your fault, Cas. He took you by surprise. Even Dean’s not at fault. I’m sure he... he wanted it differently. But you’ll be ready next time…”_ Sam told reassuringly leaving Castiel thinking of the implications. He didn’t think Dean had a clue about his feelings. Maybe he did now, but he’s been trying his best to ignore it so Castiel followed his lead. His experience with the kiss reminded him about not letting his guard down.

But it still didn’t erase the image of Dean’s freckles too close and pressed on his nose, the feel of his hot lips or the hitch of his voice when they pulled apart for a second. The demon sighed on his lips and that’s when Castiel lost it. Because Dean leaned for more before Castiel remembered himself and pushed him back. He remembered Dean grinning, eyes swirling black to green and then he was gone. He never talked about the exact details as the last time he read a letter to the younger Winchester containing explicit words, Sam stopped him. But only one thing registered to him.

He loves Dean.

And Dean?

That’s where the delusion stopped because it wasn’t real. Sam told him not to fall for the trick and he didn’t need telling twice. But this was Dean. Sometimes Castiel just want to believe that he can have Dean’s love too… but it was one thing he could never have.

Driving the freeway of Texas as he followed a lead to the demon who’d been too clever to evade the angel for many months now, Castiel stopped in a gas station to ask for the nearest motel. He glanced around the nearly empty area, spotted an auto-repair shop that twisted something in his gut and burned something in his lips. Brushing the back of his right hand on his lips distractedly, he took his phone and called Sam again.

_“Cas? Is everthing…?”_

“Yes, I’m fine,” Castiel doesn’t elaborate. He kept looking at his sideview mirror. It was past noon and though he had gotten his grace back, he still required constant rest as his body had gotten accustomed to it and he didn’t want to push out his luck with the slow replenish of his grace.

“How’s things on your end?” he asked instead.

_“I think you’re on the right track, there hasn’t been any murder spree on any bar around for some time now…I’ve been checking the local paper, there’s nothing Cas. He’s out of town.”_

Castiel nodded. Tracking Dean had always ended in locations bloodier than the last, clashing with the intent to kill until the kiss which shifted Castiel’s perspective a little. He needed to have an objective here and the ‘scene’ should not mean a thing. Dean was a demon, and demon Dean had been doing more than kisses to his other encounters.

It hurt him, but the mission comes first before personal feelings.

He drove towards town, his thoughts on the demon’s tactical of keeping his presence in the dark. He got a motel room, checked in and then did a quick sweep of the town in case there were unnatural events in the area. He wasn’t sure what changed, but in the middle of this chasing game they’d been playing, something shifted that constantly had Castiel eyeing his back.

Was it Dean playing with him or something else? Because Castiel can’t shake that feeling…

_Like he was being chased by something instead…_

Castiel closed the door of his motel room and threw his keys on the bowl. He was just speaking to Sam to seek help from other hunters and _never under any circumstances go alone in a nest of vampire_. He had to insist on it because no one else would look after Sam, at least until they got Dean back on their side which was not an easy feat. Dealing with Dean Winchester was anyone’s worst nightmare. Only few people could actually be on par with this strength and Castiel prides himself to be one of them. It was the reason he needed to rest. If he was going to deal with a strong demon, he better be tanked up and prepared for battle and not attack without any bullet.

He smiled bitterly. It was what Dean would tell him.

How he missed his friend.

Securing the perimeter and doing a routinely protective measures, Castiel wrinkled his nose at the strange odor of sulfur. It was his first clue before the door’s lock clicked which made him jump. Before he could react, the lights turned. Castiel spun and there was Dean sitting by the bed, hair brushed up neatly, expression smug with his legs stretched before him, body the most fit it has been that Castiel could note.

He was handsome as ever, lips more sinful than before. His eyes were as dark as the spaces between the stars. He was also very naked from head to foot with the bundle of his clothes resting at the head of the bed where he was leaning his freckled zoned back comfortably.

Castiel stared at the red shirt and jeans with squared his jaw like the clothes would bite him if he blinked. He slowly dragged his eyes to the demon watching him with ominous dark orbs, staring at him with intent that sent shiver to his spine.

“I’m happy you’re glad to see me,” grinned the impish demon using Dean’s signature charming smile. Castiel glared.

“Am I?” he growled, deep voice an octave lower with power held at bay. Dean smirked. His eyes swirls from dark to emerald, leaving Castiel breathless as it remained the latter.

“No angel blade or you would’ve stabbed me. Unless that’s still not part of the plan?” His eyes flicker full black again. Castiel stared at him with every fiber in his body seething to attack, but no. It’s been months and months since he last saw Dean. He’s not going to screw this up like the number of times in the past.

“Do not take me for a fool. You will never hand Dean back to me, not without a price and even if you planned to, if the deal included, I let you touch me, Dean would never forgive himself... But why should I hurt him when I have my grace which means you should be running. I can easily throw you back in hell.”

He quietly gave the demon a calculating look, glanced around to make sure there were no carpets, no ceiling sigils or anything that could incapacitate his movements or his renewed grace. Time and again, Dean had proven to be clever, his skills as a hunter not wasted in becoming a demon which made him even more dangerous.

“Oh angel,” Dean purred that Castiel snapped back at him for using Dean’s voice like that, “you don’t need to get jumpy. All the weapon I need is right here in front of you.” He moved his waist salaciously, only earning him another glare. The demon snickered. Castiel’s grace circled the room, weaving into the fabric of a dimension only a demon would feel. Demon eyes roam the room in amusement. and the light in his eyes wandered around the room.

“Your vessel’s appearance does not distract me,” Castiel said, evidently displeased, “Even with that body I can see you for what you are… thorns and fangs; a despicable, unwanted creature.”

He blinked black, “Thanks for peeking at my soul. It’s something, isn’t it? Probably got a little jagged with the transformation, but you’ve seen how I glued it together, yeah? Did I do a good work? I mean, I felt your patched-up work, but this is me now.”

“No.”

“Believe what you want, it’s my body now, I do what I want with it.” his eyes turn green. Castiel dropped his eyes feeling sick. He hated the way the demon chuckled at his retreat. Images of dead women and men flashed before his mind, all brutally killed by someone inhuman. To think that Dean, someone whose hands protected the same people… it made him sick.

It also made him look up with blades in his eyes. The urgency of saving Dean became very dire just now but he had to keep the demon still. It took him weeks to realize who was being hunted this time too. He stared at Dean’s naked form, internally struggling at the disappearance his hand print upon the breaking of Dean’s soul from his bond but it didn’t severe anything for him and Dean yet. Castiel refused to let circumstances divide him and Dean.

He met the green eyes squarely.

“You’ve been chasing me for some time now.” Castiel noted as he deadpans, gear of his mind working to set up his counter. “And now you’re naked on my bed. Why?” Dean wriggled his ass on the mattress, flexing his arms at the back of his head comfortably.

Castiel raised his chin, gazing at the demon with evident aversion. It was true, he was able to restore some decent amount of angel grace after hijacking into heaven in order to find a cure for his friend. Heaven has natural restorative element that can rebuild damages on grace. Not his wings, but an amount enough for him to display power. Eyes glowing, he made to intimidate— and saw Dean sitting back down the bed, right hand rubbing his cock.

“Want to fuck?”

Castiel bristled and the lamps around exploded. Dean laughed.

“Been long since you saw him at it, right?”

Castiel seethed with anger. Stepping forward with the hem of his coat whipping in his wake, he disregarded any trap or danger, he wanted nothing but to rip the demon from Dean’s body, keep the filthy being away and smite him to his heart’s content. He just wanted Dean back, wanted Dean for the past three months. He wanted to touch Dean so badly, his frustrations upon seeing Dean in the same vicinity, it was crushing him.

“We can make arrangements—"

“Shut up.” Castiel gave it a narrowed look, “ _Just shut up.”_

“Not until you give me what we both want.”

“You want _me_.” The angel said simply. It didn’t unnerve him.

“Very.” The demon nodded manically, black eyes swirling to and from the emerald as it sat up straight. “So bad, you no idea how I want you so badly.”

“You want to kill me.” Castiel clarified.

“Of course,” Dean smiled smugly. “But where’s the fun in that? You don’t see me killing half the people I should because I’m still sane and I don’t want trouble along the way. I just want a peaceful life, hence I keep telling you guys to leave me be…yet here we are.”

“If you think I’d let you—” Castiel growled.

“Yeah, too late so don’t blame me for looking back. I thought about it hard, Cas and you have no idea how _hard…”_ he licked his lips meaningfully, “an angel after my ass… that sounds hot, doesn’t it? So what do you say…” Dean shuffles on the bed, leg sliding down the floor with clear intent in his eyes. “Let’s make this fun. You want it, too I know. You want everything from me more than you’d admit cause you’re so righteous. But who believes that crap except you? You know you’re doing everything because of me so why not let it happen? I can feel your longing getting stronger every time even when that ‘profound bond’ you created gone.” the demon showed Castiel his left shoulder cleared off his handprint.

It was a slap on the angel. Dean’s eyes gleams. “Mark me again, angel.”

That did it and before Castiel can stop himself, he leapt forward and thrashed Dean on the wall, knocking everything on the floor and crashed while he grappled the demon’s thick neck, a hand enclosed on his throat. His anger was palpable at the provocation. He knew the demon could read him as easily as he could read it and that’s what frightened him—but nothing goes before saving Dean.

He raised the demon higher who remained impassive except the malignant twinkle in his dark eyes.

“Fuck me, angel. You know you want _me_.”

Castiel steadied his hands. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you want to stop me from killing right? Let me fuck you tonight and I will. I’d even give you a head start to warn everyone in the vicinity. Just for the night, angel, let me have this. I want you.”

“You’re getting in over your head again. I don’t want _you.”_ Castiel pressed with a frown. _I want him,_ the back of his head screamed. “I’ll kill you for even thinking I’d let you—”

“Angel, we both know you’ll never harm this body—we’re past that. This? This is a cuddle,” Dean eased his neck with a loud snap and Castiel was horrified to hear some cracking. The demonic smile on his lips split when the demon read his expression.

“I’d make a full 380 and make a show just to see that look in your face. I’ve thought about it carefully. You can’t harm me, not with the mark on. So what else is left? You give yourself to me, you’re my demon cake and I want it.”

Castiel gritted his teeth. The gall of the demon to threaten him and to touch Dean in a way only Castiel knows how. The audacity of the demon to even think he would make love with Dean in this form—

“This body is beautiful, angel,” groaned Dean with a seductive bite of his bottom lip, “But you’d know right? You know why I’m here right? Cause he’s calling for you.”

“I’ll smite you from that body.”

The demon gave him a once over with hunger filling his eyes that sent chills down the angel’s spine. Their proximity allowed the demon to breathe him in, nostrils flaring with color of his eyes swirling from black to green. Conscious of his position, Castiel kept the demon at bay, avoiding even the demon’s attempt to grind his cock on his thigh. Eyes flashing, he cautiously reached for Dean’s shirt with his free hand, all the while keeping a look at the demon. He rummaged for a second then pulled an angel blade. They glared daggers at each other, one mocking, the other was undaunted as the angel flipped the blade and shot it straight to the wall with incredible speed and power it dug itself deep on the cracked wall.

“ _Fuck, that—that’s hot—”_ black eyes swirls to green then black again, red tongue licking out. Castiel threw him a look.

“I have no reason to trust you.” 

“Cardinal rule—never trust a demon,” Dean smirked.

“I am going to bring you back in the Bunker,” Castiel hastily looked around, “If you set up any trap for me, you better abandon it now. So, whatever your purpose

He saw Dean lick his lips and swallow hard, hunger in his eyes too evident.

“You just can’t accept it, can you? How I crave for you?”

“A demon will not touch me,” Castiel growled, “Not in Dean’s body. Not in any way.”

The demon groaned and it tried to pry away from his touch, his eyes full black as the void at the beginning of time. Castiel tightened his grip but instead of cuffing the demon as what he initially thought, curiosity filled him. He knew Dean could have taken anyone he wanted if it was only about sex. The charming Demon could have seduced anyone it wanted. And yet it's risked chasing after him only to get caught and now he’s not even fighting back. Just purely seducing him, like the demon that he was.

If this was the demon’s way of angering him further, it was working. He pulled Dean to his eye level roughly, uncaring that his right knee slipped between Dean’s legs. giving the dark eyes a searching look. There’s only pure red and anger, said words in Enochian only understandable to a demon where his Dean had no business to understand.

 _“I need you.”_ Murmured the demon back, hissing at the brush of Castiel’s knee but the angel kept him suspended in the air with slight mortification that he was doing this to Dean but he had no choice. The tiny uncertain voice in the dire need tug something in Castiel he did not expect.

“What?”

The demon stopped trying to grind his ass on Castiel’s knee and locked eyes with him. A curious glimmer appeared in the black space of his eyes that used to be green and so full of life but just as Castiel hoped to see the most missed lush green, the demon grinded its teeth and struggled to be set free.

“ _I need to kill you,_ ” Dean said eagerly, almost petulantly, “Because you’re making me itchy. Making my insides burn just seeing you… You make me remember things… You make me want to hear you scream while I carve angel sigils on your body and let you writhe in pain and I’d laugh while fucking you. I’ll slam you on the floor and get high on your blood leaving your body…That… that gives me a thrill, you get, angel? But you won’t die… and I get to do it all over again because right now…you’re a temptation in that vessel, something I can see a break. If you let me just touch you… while you try to burn me away, I’d like to see you try and hurt this body, I’ll even recommend it. It wants pain as it wants you… _you can give me the pain I need Cas, so give it!”_

Castiel took Dean’s jaw to make the frenzied demon stare him in the eyes. He stared at him searchingly, searching the pieces of Dean scattered in that endless pit seemingly wanting to disappear. But he won’t let that. As long as there are pieces of Dean that were reaching out to him, he will piece him back together.

He began by sliding his left hand at the back of Dean’s neck. He kept a firm hold, locking gaze with the demon. Hunger. All he read was the demon’s hunger.

“You think… touching me will cause you pain?” he asked slowly. He kept his voice leveled, intently letting the Demon see the dancing lightning behind his eyes.

“Yes.” Dean breathed.

Castiel could only see darkness but he couldn’t get the feeling it was leading down to something. That the demon was here at all was telling… was Dean reaching out to him? He couldn’t think of any other reason—unless the demon wanted him killed. He had to take this step by step. He didn’t like the way the demon is twisting everything.

“Who said that? Did you always think that way?”

“Everyone knows I’m the reason you fell, angel. My touch corrupts.”

Castiel frowned. “If I touch you, how will that make you feel?”

Expressions flooded Dean’s handsome features. Excitement to the point of rage, eagerness beyond measure with flickering green emerging in and out, then he stopped squirming on Castiel’s hand. There’s the familiar manic grin on the demon’s face which seemed to Dean when he’s excited about something, he’s passionate about. Even the crinkle of the corner of his eyes, the boyish quirk of his lips.

“An angel fucking me is the worst kind of punishment _,”_ he choked at his own doing when he tried to lick Castiel’s lips, impatience gradually showing. “But… _"_ he inhaled sanity, eyes pure black, “But if it’s you… this body screams for you, I don’t know why… y’know, I tried fucking many people as I can but it won’t rub off the feel of your lips… you know what that means?”

Something in Castiel snapped. He whirled Dean around, twisted his arm against his back and planted his face on the wall. He could feel Dean breathing hard, almost euphoric _._ Castiel watched as Dean didn’t even struggle.

_“You gonna do it, angel? Help me ease the itch?”_

“I’m doing this... for Dean,” Castiel gritted, twisting the demon’s arm with his blue eyes flashing. There’s a loud snort and Dean turned his head in an attempt to face him—but what he saw was Dean—green eyes meeting the blue and before he realized what he was doing, he had pulled the demon’s head back and was kissing Dean’s open mouth. It was frightening and exciting—to have Dean so close and kissing him. He pressed Dean on the wall when he pulled away, ignoring any emotions that may come in waves after.

The demon’s growl was loud and pathetic, affecting him in a way it sounded too Dean. He’s heard it many times in Dean’s private hours, knowing how Dean liked to pleasure himself. Making up his mind, Castiel dragged Dean to the bed and threw him on the pile of sheets the demon had copiously rolled there himself.

Dean quickly sat up eagerly with hands grabbing the angel and for a second Castiel thought the demon would attack him when Dean grabbed the lapel of his trench coat. But Dean began undoing his tie, strong palm pushing his coat to his shoulder, green eyes intent on Castiel’s lips. The way his face just screwed in lust, Castiel knew saving Dean was on his hand.

Castiel pushed him back the bed with one flick of his wrist. The demon slammed back the bed in surprise as Castiel wriggled out of his trench coat, eyes lingering on Dean. The demon could barely breathe under his gaze.

“Don’t move.” He ordered. Dean sucked his breath as Castiel shed his coat and the rest of his shirt. It was uncomfortable to see the swirl of hungry dark eyes upon him, but he decided to see only Dean. When he wriggled his pants down, he tried not to glare at how Dean moaned seeing his nakedness. It made the demon’s cock twitch in excitement.

“Yes, yes, that’s beautiful…” Dean said, leaning on his elbow and still watching when Castiel made it to the bed and crawled on top of him. He couldn’t deny that he was also affected. His cock was already hard and when he straddled one of Dean’s hips, both of them sighed at the contact. Eyes locked, Dean began rubbing against his thigh for more. Face flushed, Castiel grinded down, skin to skin, stomach to stomach, full cocks side by side.

“Yes, please,” begged the demon, “I need—"

[ ](https://jenniferb-art.tumblr.com/post/635602586341457920/devil-may-care-spnsmile-supernatural-archive)

It was cut short with the angel sealing his loud mouth with a kiss. He melted in Dean’s mouth, feeling the same heat and pleasure of finally touching Dean again. He can’t help sighing, elbows on either side of the demon, trapping him, sinking his lips down to him so Dean’s head gets trapped on the soft linen as he fought to kiss back. The demon had hands on him but Castiel immediately locked both his wrists on the pillow on either side of his bed.

He stared at Dean for a long while, still demonic and full of lust. He can do something with that. He didn’t dare think why Dean’s body was calling for him, but he trusted it’s the profound bond. Dean whimpered and leaned to catch his lips. Castiel leaned down and gave him what he wanted, feeling the demon’s body vibrate beneath him.

Castiel focused on licking inside Dean’s lips. It was hot, molten, like how he imagined kissing Dean. He could feel the demon’s hot breath gasping as he worked his mouth. Dean’s fingers had found its place on his chest, rubbing the bud of his nipples and pinching them enough to be both painful and uncomfortable.

“Stop that,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You’re so hot,” Dean grinned, licking Castiel’s chin openly like some excited dog. Castiel kissed him, pulling him back in the routine. The demon groaned but Castiel noted how his eyes began swirling from green to black. He slowly kissed him back, rolling his hips while Dean’s hands struggled to be free from his clutch. He didn’t let go. He let Dean crave the grinding and rolling of their hips, made him cry for more contact as he kissed his jaw, mouth running on his exposed neck, taking the breath away from the demon when he sucked on its nipple. The same sound Dean would make if it was him.

Castiel flicked the sentiment away and concentrated on tackling the demon. Dean was flushed beneath him, eyes blurry green. He was beautiful even then. Castiel took his time kissing his way down Dean’s abdomen but in doing so, released Dean’s hands. Dean clutched his shoulder back painfully so and Castiel thought it was a fight.

He was wrong. Dean pulled him up and kissed him before saying—

“Your cock in my mouth,” he hissed, “fuck, give me that cock—”

Castiel’s eyes flashed and, in an instant, he manhandled Dean to switch position. Castiel leaned back on the headboard of the bed, Dean between his legs quicker than lightning. Castiel swallowed hard when Dean slid his head down, patted his cock adoringly and swallowed him whole.

“Dean…” Castiel sighed, gutted.

Dean looked up with Castiel’s cock half in his mouth, green eyes bright. Castiel bit his lips. He caressed his cheeks and to his surprise, the demon leaned on his touch while he licked the head of Castiel’s cock. When he opened his eyes, they were still full green.

“Dean,” it was the closest to Dean’s soul he has ever seen.

Dean bobbed his head up and down without letting it up and Castiel felt the eruption reached its peak and he came inside Dean. He dropped back on the headboard with a sigh, light headed and breathing fast. He wondered if he and Dean would be the same again, but that’s a problem he needed to tackle in the future, but for now, saving Dean is the priority.

Castiel gasped when Dean’s hand closed around his cock, palming it up and down while he eagerly chased Castiel’s jaw. Castiel got lost in the sensation, his body rocking in Dean’s fist. He could feel Dean’s cock on his thighs, thick and throbbing as it rubbed against his skin.

Castiel sat up, staring at Dean’s undeniable beautiful form. The demon stared back in malice. It gutted Castiel.

“Letting an angel fuck me over, this is grand sin.”

Castiel frowned. He had to remind himself the demon was Dean.

“I’ll apologize when all this is done…” he whispered.

“What?” Dean asked with a thick voice. He didn’t know what to do when Dean leaned to kiss his soft length, then without warning, the demon gripped the base of his cock and swallowed him whole again.

Dean moaned on his cock. Castiel felt his knees buckle at the pleasure of getting drained from his body. It was not his first time—but it was with someone he cared about, someone he wanted to protect and this was part of it. Of protecting Dean from the demon’s malicious thoughts of their relationship breaking apart because of this. Castiel will take responsibility this time. He will not run away.

His length deep inside Dean’s mouth, Castiel suppressed a moan. Pulling out, Dean began bobbing his head in earnest, deep throating Castiel who felt the nerves in his body are exploding all at once. He carded his fingers on the demon’s hair, burying his hand when the demon began to suck him hard, pulling on his cock and swallowing him.

Castiel wanted to embed every line of Dean’s face, the bulge on his cheek every time Castiel’s cock press on it, the way his long lashes flutter in adoration at the taste of Castiel’s cock, face flushed with lust, lips parted, wrecked and beautiful. But it wasn’t Dean and he soaked in that guilty thought before he felt Dean moving on the bed again. Castiel opened his eyes to see Dean straddling him.

“What are you—no,” Castiel blinked up in horror realizing what was going to happen next.

Dean moaned in dismay when Castiel grabbed his legs to still him. “What? We’re going half way? You said you’d fuck me!”

“I don’t want to hurt your body, there are preparations that need—"

But demons never listened, not even Castiel could stop Dean when it petulantly sat on his stomach, pressing the angel's hard length between the crack of his ass. Castiel clawed on Dean’s thighs to halt his movements. Dean eyed him darkly.

“Angel, c’mon, this body can’t be hurt, nothing can, please—”

Castiel squared his jaw. He was damn near to back away now. And Dean’s eyes remained green. His silence got a hopeful look from the demon who straddled his lap. Castiel watched him intently and it must be him, but every time Dean moved, he would look at Castiel in the eyes and turn even redder. The demon was fully lusting on him.

Castiel leaned back when the head of his cock pressed on Dean’s ring. The demon was true to its reputation and sank deep in one slide. It was a pleasure that Castiel fist his hand on the sheets. The heat, the feeling of Dean’s hole around his cock, the tightness all accumulating into one name.

“Dean…”

Dean rammed full in his cock, moaning at the top of his voice and he was loud. Castiel shut his eyes, his legs quickly bending so he could reach for Dean as the demon fuck on his cock. Dean was already lost in the first few ramming, bouncing up and down the angel’s lap wildly.

“ _Fuck—fuck yes, angel—oh—”_

Castiel gritted his teeth and opened his eyes. Dean was marvelous, impaled on him like that. His face was red and his mouth open with cheeks flushed, eyes rolling back his head as rammed in Cas in abandon.

Castiel held his legs. Dean was with him. He was beautiful.

[ ](https://jenniferb-art.tumblr.com/post/635602586341457920/devil-may-care-spnsmile-supernatural-archive)

Castiel woke up with Dean’s face between his legs. It hadn’t been two hours since he was mounted on the wall and got his ass fucked so he let Dean do what he wanted. It didn’t take long. He was already hard when he woke up and with Dean making love with his cock, Castiel felt the building sensation hit him and he spilled in Dean’s mouth with legs thrashing up the air. Stars shone when he shut his eyes with Dean sucking him all through it. Dean didn’t let up his sucking until Castiel was half-hard again and kissing the underside of his cock. It was safe to say the demon was addicted to cock. Castiel knew it had something to do with the preferences of the owner, but he had other things to think about once his cock was out of Dean’s mouth.

“Where are you going, we’re not done.”

Castiel paused and stared at Dean hard. Wiping the dribble of precum from the corner of his shiny lips, Castiel watched warily as the demon tilted his head.

“Dean, we need to get you in the bunker.”

"Why?" Dean sat still. Castiel licked his lips. If one thing was certain in this meeting, it was that Dean was finally succumbing to him, or his lust whatever this is. Castiel had never thought Dean could hold him gently even as a demon, but after tonight and the many times the demon called his name, he knew he has his hand wrapped around the demon.

"Because I said so," he squinted, "and because you're coming, right? Or we can't do this anymore."

Dean's expression did not change, but something in his eyes flickered. “Why are we in a hurry? There’s no time, we’re not saving the world from any big bad. Any big bad you gotta watch out for is sucking your dick for free. Why not stay for a while and continue the honeymoon?”

Castiel studied the demon with his mind racing. At least the mark didn’t act up like last night too, it's probably because of the _spell_... it's working slowly, but he didn't know to what extent. Dean still wanted sex after the many rounds last night Castiel nearly feared his grace wouldn't be able to keep up. Plus, his back was still sore. He will heal, but he was still sore from all the pounding. He slipped his feet down the floor instead and stood in front of the demon.

“Okay, but only for a few days,” he said cautiously, casting Dean a narrowed look.

“Okay.” grinned the demon.

“Let’s take a shower, Dean.”

He took Dean’s hand and lead him to the bathroom but before he could turn on the water, Dean pressed behind him, hands holding his hips firmly. He felt Dean’s already hard cock poking the meat of his ass.

“I want you. I’ll make you mine. You’re mine,” Dean huffed behind him, grinding his length at the crack of Castiel's ass; keeping a very strong hold on the angel’s arms, pressing him against the bathroom wall.

“Dean—no.” voice deep and full of warning only to get his hair yanked backward. The demon licked his exposed neck, breathing warmly on his skin, his touches still familiar to the angel.

“Fuck me again, Cas… come on…"

"I said no. Maybe in the Bunker when we got back-"

Dean suddenly harked a laugh and pressed more behind him.

“Yeah? Like you'd keep your promise. You know what you look like when you lie? But you won’t let me fuck you or let me touch you when we get back. You’re going to avoid me and I don’t like that. Screw you, I’ll make you mine,” he sucked Castiel’s earlobes before running his teeth on his shoulder and biting his skin. Biting his lip to still the stifle of cry, Castiel raised his broken arm and pressed the shower button.

Steaming water sprinkled their heads— Dean howled in pain and Castiel knocked him with his elbow, colliding with Dean’s jaw. The demon roared in pain and kicked back, Castiel slid down the floor, water washing over him as Dean got the upper hand but not for long. When Dean raised his fist to knock him down, Castiel smacked a palm on his head in act of smiting but he didn't. InsInstead he knocked Dean back the wall in a flash of light, followed by flipping him against the shower tiles.

“You’re going home,” Castiel ordered, face soaked, hair damp as he surveyed the demon's back. He reached for Dean’s hair and then stopped. They were both corrupted. He was guilty.

"Why..." the demon gritted his teeth, "holy fucking water? How?"

"It's part of the ritual, I planted in his motel from the beginning," Castiel said drily. "I knew you were coming for me... this is all a scheme, Dean. Just to get you back. And yes, even the bed sex... it had to be done, I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this was all designed. You forgot I have your smart brother on my side. He was... able to find a spell that will bind you to me after... after sealing a body contract."

" _Fuck!"_

Castiel held him fast. "Of course, it only needed one joining of the body, but... you were persistent. Did you notice how you're more susceptible to follow my command?"

"You asshole, I know a body contract-- but an angel like you--"

"You cannot fight me, Dean. Even now your attacks are half-hearted. You can feel it, I know. The spell would not be effective if you were not... if you didn't have feelings for me in the first place..." Castiel remembered the night he called Sam, how Sam was relieved to hear Dean was showing human emotions, even if it was centered on lust. It was the beginning of the first final contact with Dean's emotions.

_"I knew it, Dean has feelings for you, Cas... I'm sorry but... we gotta use it."_

_"Use it for what?"_ he asked curiously and that's when Sam explained the potential use of a binding contract that demons can fall slave into. How Sam got that information, well. But Dean's going home. "Sam is already on his way... you cannot escape us anymore, Dean."

"What..."

"You can't hurt me anymore... I... own you." not in the way he would have liked. "It's a demon binding contract."

Dean made outrageous noise and struggled. Castiel gave his first order. "Stop."

The demon froze. Castiel watched him. There's tension on the demon's shoulder for a while, but the fight left his body.

“You’re really…” Dean slowly grinned. “You caught me again…but you know... why not make me your real slave, huh? You want this body right? You and I can fuck all day, who cares about the world?"

Castiel never imagined this was going to be offered and a flash of him and Dean living together in a sort of sex-fantasy world nearly made him nauseous. He never wanted Dean that way.

"No. You're going home."

"Aw fuck."

Water run down their faces but Castiel only pressed his head on Dean's nape with a sigh.

"Come back with me, Dean, we'll fix it..." he knew they couldn't. Not the way how Dean would deal with this after. Not the way Dean would remember it... Dean will hate him and that's alright. They can fix this- Sam can fix this and Castiel will go on his way knowing Dean is saved. 

The demon roared and Castiel watched with mixed feelings of fascination and dislike but then, he could never hate Dean. So he clung to him, clawed on Dean’s back, and pressed him on the wall quietly. Dean can't escape him, he's under the spell now. But it was over. whatever was between them was over too. It may be the last time, but Dean will be Dean when all this is over.

* * *

“It’s gonna be okay,” Sam told him when Castiel stood outside the dungeon, Dean tied on the cellar and still unconscious.

"I need to see that he is okay," Castiel said, trying not to sound defeated because the battle was over but he lost the war.

Sam patted his shoulders. "You did everything right...but making a demon be under your command, the stakes are high. And dangerous. We can only trust that. I finished the ritual... my blood in his system too, and with your grace? We just have to wait..."

And they didn't wait that long. The moment they heard Dean moan inside, he and Sam went in. They watched Dean open his eyes, swirling green and black, staring at them blankly and then it turned pure green. Castiel sighed in relief. Sam threw holy water on Dean's face and nothing.

Castiel was relieved but at the same time, he knew his time to say goodbye had come. Dean stared at them both, collecting his wits, and then full fixed his eyes on Castiel with the grimmest look on his face. It hurt Castiel but he looked Dean in the eyes, locked with them. If he was going to admit to the crime, he better face it. Dean deserved better.

They let Dean take his time in his room while Sam fixed dinner. Castiel was left in the library waiting but for some reason, he felt Dean was calling for him and found himself walking to the corridor. He found Dean's open door, knocked once when he saw Dean was fixing the bed. The man looked up, Castiel pressed his lips closed.

"I'm glad you're okay..." he started but his voice faltered at the gaze Dean was giving him.

"How are you, Cas? Got your grace back?" Dean sounded concerned like he meant it. Of course, he did, but Castiel didn't think he deserved it.

"Um... I was just on my way out, I just needed to check on you..." he couldn't hold Dean's gaze.

"Well, I'm okay. I'm glad you're here for Sam all this time, Cas, thank you."

Castiel nodded but a long pause followed it next. He let his eyes linger on the bed, caught himself because Dean was watching him with hyper fixation so he cleared his throat. "So um... I should be going... "

"Already?"

Castiel stopped breathing. Dean had stopped moving. He met Dean's eyes, they were too clear of dismay.

"Dean," Castiel breathed the name, "don't you... don't you remember...?"

Dean let go of the sheets. There's only silence. Castiel heard his heart thumping in his eardrums.

"I do."

It broke in his ears. Castiel backed away from the door. "I'm sorry-"

"I mean, I remember bits of it, y'know? Like it was a dream and I... was both hating and loving it." Castiel looked up, and something on his face had Dean stepping towards him carefully. "Cas-- I'm not blaming you for it. Sam explained the ritual to me and he was clear on the details of what you gotta do... you did it to help me,"

"You're not okay with it," Castiel gritted his teeth, seeing everything in Dean's eyes. 

Dean opened his mouth to speak, then closed them. He shook his head. "No."

Castiel nodded, the pain in his chest spreading. "I need to go, Dean."

He planned to bolt, he shouldn't have gone there but Dean's handheld him back. He turned and Dean's there beside him with pain in his eyes. "Cas- do you hate me?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry, it's... I didn't..." Dean struggled for words, "I hated it. Hated how it all turned out this bad... I didn't want to hurt you that way."

"You didn't hurt me, Dean- if anything I was the one-"

"No, listen! Don't put this all on you- you were saving me like you always do! Shit..." Dean pulled away and wiped his face with his palm. The tension was building in his body, his eyes frantic, his expression lost. "Look, just don't leave that door, okay? It's like if I let you out now, I won't catch up to you again."

Castiel let the words sink in and then nodded. He stayed because Dean asked him to. He watched as Dean tried to get his composure when all the while Castiel was feeling the same. This was not how he expected things to turn. He watched Dean pace the room, unraveling what Castiel thought was guilt.

"Dean, calm down."

"How? I manipulated you into doing it with me! How can I calm?"

"It wasn't just you-"

"Oh it was me, I coaxed you into it."

"That's not true,"

"Yes! It is! You won't have to go through that if you didn't care to save me, don't you understand that!? It's not you at fault, it was me and my weakness and my..." he gave Castiel a helpless look, then pulled his gaze away. "Fuck."

"Dean," Castiel said in alarm, stepping closer and glad he was able to touch Dean's arm, "Sit down, let's talk."

Dean slumped back at the foot of the bed with hands on his hair. "I made you do it, Cas. Don't think for a second you did anything wrong."

"It was wrong from the beginning," Castiel acknowledged, "but... it was a risk I had to take."

Dean bristled. "You shouldn't have done that for me... I was such an idiot."

Castiel couldn't help it, he reached for Dean's shoulder to soothe him.

"Dean, whatever happened it was never your fault."

"Yeah? So how do you explain what's between us now? How do I look you in the eyes and tell myself I didn't abuse my friend?"

Castiel fell silent. It was not hard to put himself in the situation, he was going through the same.

"The spell wouldn't have worked if our feelings weren't genuine, Dean..." he began slowly, "And I think... whatever form you were then, the fact that the spellbound us because 'love' prevailed inside you..."

"That's pure lust, Cas, don't mistake it."

"Yes, but all sins root from love,"

Dean stared back at him quietly. "You really believe that?"

"I have to," Castiel read each of Dean's expression, "or I'd risk losing myself believing what we did... what happened couldn't be salvaged. I did it because..." he let the words out, it wasn't a confession he thought he'd go through, not after everything, "I wanted to save you because I love you. Dean- you don't have to feel guilty over my feelings, I believed we had some connection prior to this and I clung to that. What I was afraid is losing you after... you don't have to forgive me for loving--"

Dean frowned. "Sam said that already, why I'm angry is because how it played us... I didn't want your feelings ruined like that, Cas. I mean, I know. I couldn't believe it at first, but after this? It's hard not to believe it, but things are messy but I don't want to lose you."

"You didn't lose me, I'm still here."

"Then why are you running away just now?"

Castiel closed his lips. Dean sounded angry now and his eyes spoke the meaning of wanting him to stay. "I thought you were angry with me, I didn't want to be the source of your pain.

"Right now, you're the only one keeping me sane." Dean admitted, "Cas... I... I don't know how to fix this but I want to... if you leave now, I know what I'll do... just swim in my guilt and after being a demon? I don't want that. I don't want what you and Sam sacrificed and went through go to nothing, so if it means bearing with my pain but with you beside me? Fuck, I'll do it just...don't leave... we can fix this."

For Dean to initiate the fix, Castiel could believe that but he's certain there's more to it than a snap of a hand. They could heal but not without struggling. The important thing was Dean is willing, for without it Castiel would not find it in him to forgive himself because above his self loathing, is his vast feelings for Dean. He can believe in that. He can give love a chance if it's Dean.


End file.
